Sermon Discussion Questions:
1. What comes to mind when you think of bitterness or a bitter person?
2. What is the “principle of bitterness” Marc laid out in the sermon? (“If I let my anger go, the problem won’t be solved, injustice will reign”) Why is bitterness such a “sticky” sin?
3. How can we care about justice while also putting away bitterness? What if the other person doesn’t see the wrong or apologize? See Eph 4:31-32.
4. How can bitterness hide behind a veneer of righteousness? How did God flush that out from Jonah? (The plant)
5. Jonah was happy to receive mercy from God, but not happy to see God give mercy to His enemies. What can we do to change our hearts? (See the four steps at the end of the sermon)
The section of John’s gospel we have been in has been recounting the resurrection appearances of Christ to His disciples, all of whom abandoned Him at His hour of greatest need. Peter outright denied he knew Jesus. Thomas doubts that Jesus could be risen after he hears about the others’ testimony. Yet, astonishingly, Jesus responds to all of His disciples with grace, with welcome, with compassion, with mercy. He doesn’t say, “You traitors left me. Don’t you realize how much that hurt me?” It did hurt Him. Yet, Jesus doesn’t respond to that hurt with bitterness. What is bitterness? Bitterness is hanging on to hurt. It is the trap that catches us when we feel like the scope of our pain has not been adequately recognized or responded to.
Don’t you realize how serious this was? Don’t you realize how badly you hurt me? So, to maintain that importance, your disposition and posture towards the person who hurt you changes. You become cold and suspicious of them. Maybe you cut them out of your life. Maybe you scatter painful reminders of their sin like thumb tacks in front of their feet, lest they forget. Maybe you flush all “benefit of the doubt” down the drain and they are guilty till proven innocent from now on. Pretty soon, even the offending party’s attempts to reconcile or repent become further proof of their guilt. And, in time, you no longer are in control. Your mood is put on autopilot. You may even want to not feel this way, but you feel trapped.
Yet, Jesus—who has done nothing to deserve the treatment He received by His friends—is remarkably free from bitterness towards them, and towards you. Usually, the more frequently someone sins against us, the more tempting bitterness and resentment are. But Jesus’ heart is not like velcro that hangs onto hurt. All our offenses slide off of Him and are not remembered. How?
That is the question I want to examine today, actually by leaving John’s gospel for the moment, and examining the prophet Jonah.
The story of Jonah stands out in our minds because of the first half of the book: a prophet fleeing from God’s command and being swallowed by a whale for it.
But it is the second half of the book that explains the motives of Jonah, why he fled, why he was so resistant to this mission of God.
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Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah the second time, saying, 2 “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it the message that I tell you.” 3 So Jonah arose and went to Nineveh, according to the word of the LORD. Now Nineveh was an exceedingly great city, three days’ journey in breadth. 4 Jonah began to go into the city, going a day’s journey. And he called out, “Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” 5 And the people of Nineveh believed God. They called for a fast and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them to the least of them…10 When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil way, God relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it. But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. 2 And he prayed to the LORD and said, “O LORD, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. 3 Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” 4 And the LORD said, “Do you do well to be angry?”
5 Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. 6 Now the LORD God appointed a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort. So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. 7 But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. 8 When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint. And he asked that he might die and said, “It is better for me to die than to live.” 9 But God said to Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” And he said, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.” 10 And the LORD said, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. 11 And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?”
- Jonah 3:1-5, 10, 4:1-11
The Principle of Bitterness
Why does Jonah hate Nineveh so much?
They are Israel’s enemies. Nineveh was the capital of the Assyrian empire. Ashurnarsipal II, a king just before the time that Jonah preached in Nineveh, recorded one of his conquests by telling us of what he did to the prisoners he captured:
Their men young and old I took prisoners. Of some I cut off their feet and hands; of others I cut off the ears noses and lips; of the young men's ears I made a heap; of the old men's heads I made a minaret.
The Assyrians were like orcs in their savagery. And they have raped and pillaged Israel for as long as Jonah has been alive. And that is why Jonah is so angry that God shows mercy on them.
Jonah preaches maybe the worst possible evangelistic message any prophet has ever preached. “Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” (Jonah 3:4). He doesn’t even invite the people to repent or seek the Lord. And, incredibly, the people have an extreme response. The whole city breaks out in a kind of revival, and not just a token act of religion, but there are significant social reforms suddenly put in place. The King hears of the proclamation and he repents in dust and ashes, and announces: “By the decree of the king and his nobles: Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste anything. Let them not feed or drink water, 8 but let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and let them call out mightily to God. Let everyone turn from his evil way and from the violence that is in his hands. 9 Who knows? God may turn and relent and turn from his fierce anger, so that we may not perish.” (Jon 3:7-9).
The king is putting even the animals on a fast and sackcloths! And you sense the humility: they do not know that this will work; the outcome is not guaranteed, but they are flinging themselves upon God for mercy, simple trust.
All from “40 days and you’ll die.”
And instead of rejoicing at this revival, Jonah burns in anger. Why?
Because these people hurt him, hurt his nation. They are his enemies. And now, all of a sudden, apparently God is showing them compassion.
And what is Jonah is supposed to do now with all his hurt? With all his anger? But even more than that, how is he supposed to reconcile this with God who promises justice?
The principle of bitterness is this: if I let my anger go, the problem won’t be solved. You can even get to a point where choosing to let go of anger or bitterness feels like it comes at the expense of justice. Bitterness feels like fuel to power a pursuit of justice. You get this sense from Jonah’s prayer:
And he prayed to the LORD and said, “O LORD, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. - Jonah 4:2
The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, 7 keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.” - Ex 34:6-7
The Price of Bitterness
10 When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil way, God relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it. But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. - Jonah 3:10-4:1
Jonah views God’s mercy as evil. “The reader would hope that Jonah—who just received the Lord’s lavish mercy and forgiveness for his own evil (ch. 2)—might again break out in a prayer of thanksgiving.”
But Jonah resents God’s mercy. This is why he fled in the first place. He was suspicious that God would bless and forgive those who longed to see cursed and judged.
Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” - Jonah 4:3
Jonah would rather die than live in a world with a God as loving and merciful as this.
This is the price of bitterness. It overwhelms you.
“Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. 21 I went away full, and the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the LORD has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” - Ruth 1:20-21
Bitterness is the disposition of a heart that, at root, believes God is unfair. Jonah doesn’t believe God is just. And when you are hurt by others, and you are told that God wants you to forgive and not be bitter, you can feel like: what about justice?
We will answer that in the next point, but for now, notice how drastic the prescription is for our response.
Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; - Heb 12:14-15
Beware lest there be among you a root bearing poisonous and bitter fruit, 19 one who, when he hears the words of this sworn covenant, blesses himself in his heart, saying, ‘I shall be safe, though I walk in the stubbornness of my heart.’ This will lead to the sweeping away of moist and dry alike. - Deut 29:18-19
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. - Eph 4:31
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. - Eph 4:26-27
This is an unconditional, unqualified command. "Put away bitterness” is not dependent on the person who sinned against you or hurt you repenting or changing or even recognizing their wrong. It is possible for the person you are bitter with to repent, but you still be bitter. You can be embittered towards someone who is dead. Because bitterness never is dependent on the other person, but on you.
The Prescription for Bitterness
And the LORD said, “Do you do well to be angry?” - Jonah 4:4
Jonah and the plant
“So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant.”
But then, God kills the plant.
5 Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. 6 Now the LORD God appointed a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort. So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. 7 But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. 8 When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint.
And he asked that he might die and said, “It is better for me to die than to live.” 9 But God said to Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” And he said, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.” - Jonah 4:8-9
10 And the LORD said, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. 11 And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?” - Jonah 4:10-11
Jonah wants mercy for himself, but none for his enemies.
Doesn’t this sound like the conclusion of the parable of the prodigal son?
But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29 but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ 31 And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’”
- Avoid God’s chair
- “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God?” - Genesis 50:19
- Trust God’s sovereignty
- As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. - Genesis 50:20
- Make the fuel of your justice love, not bitterness
- So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. - Gen 50:21
- Consider the mercy God has shown you
- 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. - Eph 4:31-32
